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12.20.2010

Opening at the biggest comedy show in Tacoma (this Thursday!)

Hey friends, fam, and fans!!!

Catch me this Thursday at Nate Jackson's Super Funny Comedy Show! I've been living, grinding and developing my talents in Chicago for about 3 years now but I'm super excited to debut at this event in my hometown... Tac Town stand up!

I will be headed back to Chicago after Christmas so this may be your only opportunity to catch me on the mic. Don't miss it!

12.16.2010

Strictly 4 My Bitches (Spoken Word)

Excuse me bitch.... I mean Miss, can you tell me where the ladies' room is?
I heard my truth is in there; somewhere written in the stalls.
Or maybe it speaks aesthetically from the pretty pink walls? See, all
I'm asking is what makes me more masculine
than you? Is it because I don't expose my tits, switch my hips,
...color my lips or suck as much dick as you?
Or does it have to do with the fact that I'm not asking you
to affirm my capacity to represent feminine attitudes
or pass society's standardized test of female aptitude.
Or maybe when you see me you think, "Maury, that's a dude!"
I doubt it. See I'm not afraid of being doubted or outed because I'm out with
the old and in with the new. I'm not trying to be a man, but I'm damn
sure not trying to be you. "Who is she talking to?" You,
girlfriend. My sister, my aunt, my cousin, my mom.
Because we don't speak no more and it's been too long.
They told us silence would save us, but they're wrong.
So like Audre Lorde, "I write for those women who do not speak,
for those who do not have a voice because they were so terrified,
because we are taught to respect fear more than ourselves." I'm talking
to myself. To the bitches, whores, cunts, and jezebels, to the
tomboys, baby mamas, sugar tits, oh and the nappy headed ho’s.
And to the pretty girl my age with the perfect life and perfect marriage
Who’s fucking her best friend and will only talk to me because she’s
Either a coward or too embarrassed or she actually thinks I can help.
She doesn’t even know… I’m talking to myself. Because I can no longer afford
to hate and be afraid of men. I must forgive myself for the original sin
and every sin since. I must forgive the men and boys who raped me
of my innocence and the women who pleaded ignorance.
I must forgive my mom for not being enough for my dad and my dad
for trying to find my mother in me. I must find a way to believe
that God's image of a woman was meant for me to receive
and that there are women out there willing to fight for me.
And that I'm worth fighting for. So ladies, what are we fighting for?
As in why are we fighting and what is it we are fight to get? Is it
the blackest man with the biggest dick...the most attractive man
with the most potential to be rich? Our own happiness?
Or each other's approval? Do we even know which is which? Bitch... please!
Oh, I'm sorry... Can I say that? I know a lot of women hate that.
But did you know "bitch" goes way back. The original bitch dates back
to the 14th Century when she was described as women with a high sexual desire
comparable to a bitch in heat. A bitch heat. So basically a bitch is freak.
Or any woman with a capacity to express her sexuality radically.
And since the term radical is actually contingent on the definition of normality
in any given society… a bitch over here may not be a bitch over there.
And if a bitch over there walks over here she may magically
become a woman again. Who do we think we are to name God's creatures
based on anything but physical features? Oh yes… man.
But see bitch is only a word. And I believe there is no such thing as a bad word.
Language is a gift, never a curse. So bitch, you are my gift.
Whore, cunt, jezebel, tomboy, baby mama, sugar tits, oh
And nappy headed ho’s, you are my gift. But it’s the consciousness
out of which our language is birthed that shapes our ultimate destiny
on this earth. We may never see the end of the word, but we can determine
how much a bitch is worth. (Church!) So when I say pussy is power
and grab my crotch. I command every man, woman and child to listen and watch
me take my womanhood back on the spot. I am a sexual being and I love sex.
I was created to give love, pussy, and respect. So I guess
I'm a bitch in heat. But they just say to me... "Bitch make me something to eat!"
All my bitches say, “Hell naw!” The feminists use bitch to describe a woman
who's assertive and strong in a way that threatens male dominance
because a respectable woman is calm. The leader of the feminist bitch movement
is of course Ms. Hilary Rodham. And there used to be Queen Bitches
in hip hop before the industry bought them. Peace to Queen La, Ms. Hill, MC Lyte.
Ya'll were so nice. Only concern was rocking the mic. Now we just got booty shakin
bitches on the stage blocking the mic. No disrespect to baby with the back
But it’s a known fact there are a lot of bitches dancing and ain't no more
bitches rappin. What happen?! What happen? We let it happen.
And I guess you could call this a period piece because this is for my women
who bleed. But seriously, I don't remember the day I started my cycle
but I remember when I became a woman. Not that I changed over time like Michael.
It was much later in life tho. I found myself the day I discovered the one thing
I would literally give my life for. Love. Staring in my mirror, facing my biggest fear,
I saw a woman for the first time, just this year. Baby, I know you love me and I love you too,
but you can’t love me the way you want to. There’s a lot of crap I must first come
thru and this is what it’s come to. Before I make you cum and let you make me cum too
There's something I need that I can't get from you. Of course, I'd love to!
I said I love you, but I can’t love you that way. I can’t touch you that way.
I can’t hug you, rub you, suck you and fuck you that way. Fuck me?! Baby,
Don’t take this the wrong way. This is not to say you’re the wrong person,
you just caught me on the wrong day. I know it doesn’t seem so,
but I’ve come a long way. I come from sleepless nights, and truthfully
I prefer a long day. I’ve been sexing in secret since before I knew what it was; scarred
From being scratched between my vagina lips by a play cousin that taught me
A game called play humping. Why didn’t I say something?! Because
My promise ring given by Christ symbolized that I was too blessed to need sex.
My body shook and milked, telling me it wasn’t true, but my religion successfully
kept me repressed. While in dark closets I exchanged sensations and inhalation with boys and
girls my age and in the same breathe confessed to God and blamed Satan. Too young
to lose faith in human relations, but quickly running out of patience I walked into
dating thinking “fuck waiting, I’m duck-taping my emotions inside a steel box
until I’m done playing. But of course life takes its course; so one day I woke up
in the middle of intercourse to my undergarments all over the floor,
make-up smeared into white sheets and my heart somewhere still running the streets,
where it had been left.
In attempt to put the past to rest, I started with what made sense.
Since I couldn't remember life without my sister I got sister love
tatted on my chest. One word above each breast. Then the dots began to connect,
beyond blood, my mission is to erect sisterhood from its bloody death;
a lesbian consciousness that goes beyond sex and deep into women loving each other
in way that makes us all better. So beautiful woman, if she wants to touch you, let her.
It doesn't mean she's gay. She may just need a mother or a sister And you may
just be that figure. But if she admires your figure and it’s sexual and it’s mutual
then loose control and find the missing pieces to your whole in her soul.
And if you love her you must tell her. Either way you must always respect her
because if you sell her or sex her and forget her you will kill her. And if I find you
I may kill you, for my sister. 

Strictly 4 My Bitches.

(August 2010)